Duvid Chaim's 2b1 Institute

Month: December 2017

  • Parsha Vayechi – Don’t lose your head!

    Parsha Vayechi – Don’t lose your head!

    Parsha Vayechi

    Don’t lose your Head!

    The time approached for Israel to die, so he called Yoseph and said, “For I will lie down with my fathers and you shall transport me out of Egypt and bury me in their tomb.” (Bereishis/Genesis 47:29)

    We are are continuing our weekly Series:

    Today, we are learning, how Parsha Vayechi speaks to those who seek Recovery.

    As we continue the story of Yakov and his sons, we not only see the conclusion of Sefer Bereishis (book of Genesis); but also the end of the lives of Yakov and Yosef.  The story of these great and holy men seems to be full of so much pain and struggle.  And yet, they not only endured their lives, but also rose above with unswerving devotion and Emunah towards Hashem.

    As we discussed in prior posts, we can learn the most from these “Bible Stories” when we find ourselves, individually in each of the stories.  For in each and everyone of us is Avraham, Yitzchok, Yakov and their sons – yes – even including Yishmoel and Esav!!

    With this understanding in mind, let’s take a look at one of the most perplexing characters of our ancestors – Esav.  It’s been four parshas/portions ago in Vayishlach that we last heard from Esav!   It was after that very tense meeting between Esav and Yakov after returning to Eretz Canaan after 22 years.  And while these two brothers – enemies and representatives of two very significant ways of life – seemingly made peace with one another.  Yet they both knew that they had to part ways.  As it says in chapter 36 verse 6:

    “Esav took his wives…and all the members of his household…and all his wealth and went to (Mt Seir) because of his brother Yakov…BECAUSE THEY COULD NOT DWELL TOGETHER!”

    Our commentators struggle to determine why Esav decided that he must separate from Yakov. Rav Hirsh comments that “despite their ‘brotherhood’ the spiritual and moral gulf between them remained as gaping as ever and Esav could not tolerate Yacov’s proximity – for Esav’s greed overpowered all other considerations.”

    Let’s fast forward back to Parsha Vayechi when the brothers following Yakov’s orders transported him from Egypt to the Cave of Machpelah – the burial location of our forefathers and mothers.  As we learn from the Talmud in Sota 13a, Esav arrived during the burial to contest Yakov’s right to be buried there.  (And here’s where it gets graphic!)  Chushim, the deaf son of Dan became infuriated and took a club and struck Esav so hard that he killed him…the force of the blow decapitated Esav, and his head rolled into the cave, landing at Yakov’s feet – where it remains to this day!!

    NOW, let’s consider what the Parsha can teach those seeking Recovery...

    Rabbi Aharon Kotler shares this important insight for all of us, saying…“Since Esav studied Torah under Avraham and Yitzchak, he deserved some reward.  But his study was only a mental exercise that never entered his bloodstream or his organs.  He never took the Torah to heart or used it to guide his actions.  Thus, only his head could enter the cave for burial…but not the rest of his body!”

    This message speaks loudly to those of us who are living a double life.  On the one hand, we may have spent years learning Torah or Mussar and yet on the other hand, our “acting out” reveals a side of us that rips apart our lives and everyone around us.  We find ourselves living a life of polar opposites.  Our head may be full of righteousness but our body is pursuing quite the opposite.

    The Big Book on page 21 compares the life of the addict to the famous classic story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  As it says, “Here is a fellow who has been puzzling you, especially in his lack of control.  He does absurd, incredible tragic things while acting out.  He is a real Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde. He may be one of the finest fellows in the world.  Yet let him lust for a day and he frequently becomes disgusting.  He is often perfectly sensible and well balanced concerning everything except his lust…but in that respect he is incredibly dishonest and selfish!”

    So, we must ask, is there any hope for us?  The answer is resoundingly YES!  Interestingly enough to Newcomers, The 12 Step Program of Recovery is focused not so much on our acting out behaviors and almost entirely on our CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT – and one that is sustainable and liberating.

    The 12 Step Program has brought Recovery and Sobriety to literally millions of addicts since 1939.  Isn’t it time that we commit to learning this simple program of ACTION – as it is called.  We can all see with our own eyes that our Head is separated from our Body by our neck.  It may be just three inches long and two inches wide, but there could be miles apart from our thoughts to our actions.

    By learning the Program and with G-d’s help, we can clear our head of our self-centered character defects and finally bring into alignment our positive thoughts with positive actions!!

    Shabbat Shalom

    Please join others and feel free to post your comments in the box below.
    (ps. if you have a personal story or chiddush, you would like to share, I am looking for “guest” contributors to post.)
  • Parsha Vayigash – You can’t Move Ahead until you know where you are!

    Parsha Vayigash – You can’t Move Ahead until you know where you are!

    Parsha Vayigash

    You can’t Move Ahead until you know Where You Are!

    G-d spoke to Israel in a night vision and He said, Yakov, Yakov.  And he said, Hineni – HERE I AM” (Bereishis/Genesis 46:2)

    We are are continuing our weekly Series:

    Today, we are learning, how Parsha Vayigash speaks to those who seek Recovery.

    As we continue the story of Yakov and his sons, we learn at the very beginning of this Parsha how Yosef revealed himself to his brothers. We can only imagine the drama of when Yehudah directly confronted Yosef – the Midrash says that the Palace shook as from an earthquake and Yehudah let out a War Cry that was heard in Eretz Canaan!

    “Now Yoseph could not restrain himself…and he cried in a LOUD VOICE…

    “אני יוסף”

    We have to really appreciate how Powerful these two words were!!  Regarding this, the Chafetz Chaim comments that when Yosef said “I am Yosef”… G-d’s Master Plan became clear to the brothers.  They had no more questions.  Everything that had happened for the last twenty-two years fell into perspective!

    Before we understand how this message speaks to us, we need to take a even broader look at the Story of our Forefathers and how a COMMON THEME repeats itself.

    Let’s begin by looking for one little tiny but incredibly powerful and LIFE-CHANGING WORD.

    #1) In Parsha Yayeira (Genesis 22:1) in the story of the Tenth Test of Avraham, the Akeida…

    And it happened after these things that G-d tested Avraham and said to him, Avraham, Avraham and he replied,

    Hineni – “HERE I AM!” 

    #2) While on the way, when Yitzchok realized that there was no lamb to be offered (22:7)

    Then Yitzchok spoke to Avraham his father and said, “Father – And Avraham said,

    Hineni – HERE I AM, my son. 

    #3) At the moment that Avraham took the knife to slaughter his son (22:11)

    And an angel of Hashem called to him from heaven and said Avraham, Avraham. And he said, 

    Hineni – HERE I AM! 

    #4) In Parsha Toldos (Genesis 27:18) in the story of Yakov deceiving his father Yitzchok to take the blessing of the first born…

    And he came to his father and said, Father, and Yitzchok said, 

    Hineni – “HERE I AM!” 

    #5) In Parsha Vayeishev (Genesis 37:12) in the story of when Yakov decided to send Yosef to find his brothers that hated him…

    And Yisroel said to Yosef, come I will send you to them.  And Yosef said, 

    Hineni – “HERE I AM!” 

    #6) In this week’s Parsha Vayigash (Genesis 46:2) in the story of when Yakov learned that his son Yosef was alive and in Egypt – Yakov set out to go down to Egypt with his entire family and belongings…

    G-d spoke to Israel in a night vision and He said, Yakov, Yakov.  And he said,

    Hineni – “HERE I AM!”

    NOW, let’s consider what the Parsha can teach those seeking Recovery...

    We know that the Torah does not waste any words!  And we know that the Torah does not repeat any words unless there is an important message to learn – and it’s not repeated once or twice, it is used SIX TIMES in the lives of Avraham, Yitzchok, Yakov and Yosef – all of them!!  And if you look carefully at what happened right after each time they said, HINENI, this was a crucial PIVITAL moment in their lives (and the lives of the Jewish People!)  Accordingly, we must recognize and appreciate that the word HINENI – HERE I AM is a message for all Jews, then…now and forever!

    Rashi teaches us that the expression HINENI – HERE I AM is the answer of the devout…denoting both Humility and Readiness.

    Anyone experienced as an addict or with addicts knows that their suffering comes from their selfish, dishonest and fearful Character Defects.  Over time, Addicts become quite skilled and comfortable avoiding all responsibility and blame.  They are always pointing their finger at others for being the cause of all their problems…including their acting out!

    If they are fortunate, the addict will fall so deep into their own DENIAL that they will finally hit Rock Bottom.  And hopefully, it is at this point that they will realize that there is no one else to blame but themselves!!  AND likewise, there is no one to turn to but their Higher Power!!

    Let’s go back to Parsha Vayigash, when Yakov had been called by Hashem to go to Yosef in Egypt – right after the very moment that Yakov said, Hineni – HERE I AM.  Quoting 46:3…

    And HE said, I am the God – God of your father.  Have NO FEAR OF DESCENDING to Egypt, for I shall descend WITH YOU…and I SHALL ALSO SURELY BRING YOU UP!!!

    WOW…Let us all use this powerful message to take comfort and not be scared to rise up from the ashes of our Rock Bottom…knowing that G-d is WITH US ALL THE WAY DOWN TO OUR ROCK BOTTOM – JUST TO BE THERE WITH US TO “SURELY BRING US UP!!!”

    Hopefully we can now SAY WITH CLARITY, FULL DEVOTION, WITH HUMILITY AND WITH READINESS…

    Shabbat Shalom

    Please join others and feel free to post your comments in the box below.
    (ps. if you have a personal story or chiddush, you would like to share, I am looking for “guest” contributors to post.)
  • Parsha Mikeitz – From Rock Bottom to Rock Star

    Parsha Mikeitz – From Rock Bottom to Rock Star

    Parsha Mikeitz

    From Rock Bottom to Rock Star!

    Pharaoh said, “Could we find another like him – a man in whom is the spirit of G-d?” (Bereishis/Genesis 41:38)

    Then Pharaoh said to Yoseph, “See! I have placed you in charge of all the land of Egypt.  And Pharaoh removed his ring from his hand and put it on Yoseph’s hand.

    We are are continuing our weekly Series:

    Today, we are learning, how Parsha Mikeitz speaks to those who seek Recovery.

    As we continue the story of the sons of Yakov and the brothers of Yosef, we learn in this Parsha how Yosef went from Rock Bottom to Rock Star.

    LET’S TAKE A VERY REVEALING LOOK at the similarity and remarkable contrast between the text in last week’s Parsha Vayeishev and this week’s Parsha Miketz:

    As we know, in Parsha Yayeishev, Yosef was HATED by his brothers for many reasons – their father Yakov showed favoritism towards Yosef…Yosef would bring evil reports about his brothers to his father …Yosef shared his “dreams” that belittled and threatened the brothers…and more.

    Now let’s DO AN AMAZING comparison between the versus in Parsha Yayeishev vs in Parsha Mikeitz:

    In Parsha Yayeishev (37:3)

    “And his father Yakov made him a FINE WOOLEN TUNIC” 

    In Parsha Mikeitz (41:42)

    “Pharaoh then had him dressed in garments of FINE LINEN“… 

    In Parsha Yayeishev(37:8)

    “And they hated him even more – because of his DREAMS.“

    In Parsha Mikeitz (41:12)

    “There was a Hebrew youth, he interpreted our DREAMS. And it was that just as he interpret for us – so did it happen!”

    In Parsha Yayeishev (37:20)

    “Look the dreamer is coming, let us throw him into the the PIT” – הבור ׂ

    In Parsha Mikeitz (41:14)

    “So Pharaoh summoned Yoseph and they rushed him from the DUNGEON” – הבור

    In Parsha Yayeishev (37:10)

    “Are we to BOW DONE TO YOU TO THE GROUND?!” ׂ

    In Parsha Mikeitz (42:6)

    “Yosef brothers came and THEY BOWED DOWN TO HIM, FACES TO THE GROUND!”

    Let’s consider what the Parsha can teach those seeking Sobriety...

    Upon careful study of the versus above, it is obvious that there is a profound “coincidence” from the versus in Vayeishev about Yosef’s FALL TO ROCK BOTTOM…to the Pit versus the versus in Mikeitz about Yosef’s RISE TO BEING A ROCK STAR among those who saw his Vital Spiritual Talents!

    SO TOO WITH YOU OR ANY ADDICT who has hit Rock Bottom – his Pain…his Shame…his Hopelessness – can leave him forever STUCK IN HIS OWN PIT!!  

    So what can we learn from Yosef?  How did he rise out of his Pit to become a Ruler?  

    Our Sages teach us that Yosef had complete/total Emunah-Faith and Trust in his Higher Power.  That G-d would rescue him from such a low point and bring him to a place where he could serve Hashem and His People.  Yosef knew without a doubt that there was a DIVINE PLAN for him and that he had a greater DESTINY IN LIFE.

    But let us also learn the most profound lesson of all – that not only must we BELIEVE that a Power Greater than ourselves can restore us to Sanity (Step 2) and Turn our Will and our Lives over to the care of G-d (Step 3) – but also, like Yosef, we must – we must BELIEVE IN OURSELVES!

    NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAPPENS IN G-D’S WORLD BY MISTAKE! (BB pg 417)  G-d did not create us to live a Rock Bottom Life!  We were created to face whatever comes our way with total ACCEPTANCE – to recognize that no one, no experience and nothing can take away our G-d given and unique talents.  We can to turn to Program and Fellowship and find Serenity and Sobriety and be of Service.

    We witness a similar struggle in the life of Yosef when he reached his “ROCK BOTTOM” when thrown into the PIT.  It sounds a lot like what we read on page 26 of the Big Book in Their is a Solution…“He, the addict wished above all things to regain control. In the Doctor’s Judgement, he was utterly hopeless!”  Yosef could have taken this attitude.  But he did not!

    Instead, Yosef endured and found his way to move on from his life in the Pit.  As we learn on page 27 the Big Book…“He said to the Doctor, Is there no exception?  Yes, replied the Doctor.  Once in a while, addicts have had what are called VITAL SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCES.   They appear to be in the nature of HUGE EMOTIONAL DISPLACEMENTS AND REARRANGEMENTS.   IDEAS, EMOTIONS AND ATTITUDES which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side and a completely NEW SET OF CONCEPTIONS AND MOTIVES BEGIN TO DOMINATE THEM!”

    Thanks to Yosef’s belief in himself and his Mission in life, he played the most pivotal role in the our – the Jewish People’s Journey to their Rock Bottom and Preparation for receiving the Torah at Mt Sinai.  And ultimately for their return to Eretz Yisroel – to build our Holy Temple.  May we all merit to see our Temple rebuilt speedily in our days…Amen!

    THE CHANUKAH CONNECTION:

    Let us all use this incredible story and its message to learn as the Macabees knew that there were no enemies that could defeat them.  As we say in the Chanukah insertion in our Amidah…”YOU delivered the mighty into the hands of the weak, many into the hands of the few and impure people into the hands of the pure…”  And by doing so we will take ourselves out of the PIT of our disease and see the Light and the Miracles of Kislev!!”

    Shabbat Shalom and Happy Chanukah!

    Please join others and feel free to post your comments in the box below.
    (ps. if you have a personal story or chiddush, you would like to share, I am looking for “guest” contributors to post.)
  • Parsha Vayeishev – How can I get rid of my Guilty Conscience?!

    Parsha Vayeishev – How can I get rid of my Guilty Conscience?!

    Parsha Vayeishev

    How can I get rid of my Guilty Conscience?!

    “Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his sons since he was a child of his old age, and he made him a fine woolen tunic” (Bereishis/Genesis 37:3)

    “His brothers saw that it was he whom their father loved most of all the brothers – so THEY HATED HIM…(37:4)” 

    We are are continuing our weekly Series:

    Today, we are learning, how Parsha Vayeishev speaks to those who seek Recovery.

    As we continue the Story of our Patriarchs and Matriarchs, we learn in this Parsha about one of the most unimaginable episodes of the entire Torah.  How could the sons of Yakov/Yisroel (see last week’s Post to learn more about his name) who carry the banner of Chesed, Torah and Truth – how could they so brutally and callously abuse and dispose of their brother Yosef???

    We all know the story about how Yakov – actually Yisroel in this story so loved the firstborn of his first love, Rachel that he adorned Yosef in the “Coat of Many Colors.”  Thanks to the jealousy and animosity that this created, as we read in 37:4, they hated him!

    As the story continues in 37:5, Yosef dreamt a dream which he told to his brothers and they hated him even more!  After sharing his first dream, in 37:8, His brothers said to him, “Would you REIGN over us?  Would you then DOMINATE us?  And they hated him even more!!  But this didn’t seem to stop Yosef, for he shared yet another dream.  In which the Torah shares…So his brothers were jealous of him!

    Who can even understand why Yosef would be so insensitive to his brothers that his actions caused them to hate him…not once…not twice…but three times…plus a fourth time they were jealous!  It seems like Yosef just couldn’t stop.  It didn’t phase him how much he was hated, He just kept Adding more reasons to hate him.  (please note that Yosef means “HE Added”!!)

    Now the continuation of the Story makes a lot of sense.  Yisroel sent Yosef to find his brothers.  And before he could reach them, They (the brothers) saw him from afar and when he had not yet approached them, they conspired against him to kill him.”  Without even knowing what Yosef intentions were in visiting them, they made a decision and threw him into the pit!

    Let’s consider what the Parsha can teach those seeking Sobriety...

    Think back to a time, when after acting out in some negative destructive way, did you ever hear that Voice in your head that criticized your behavior and filled you with GUILT and SHAME?!

    On page xxix – 29 of the Big Book in The Doctors Opinion, Dr Silkworth teaches us about “the vicious cycle” of anger/fear…which leads to acting out…which leads to GUILT & SHAME…which leads to a firm resolution not to act out again!  Within this Four Part Vicious Cycle, which part do you think is the most annoying and painful?  Of course, it’s the Guilt and Shame.  And what causes the terrible feeling of remorse is our GUILTY CONSCIENCE!  If only we could get rid of our Guilty Conscience, we could go on acting out without a care in the world.  Wouldn’t life be great?!

    Now we can have a better understanding of the actions of Yosef brothers.  For you see, just like our own guilty conscience, Yosef really did nothing wrong – he spoke the truth!   Unfortunately, what do those of us who don’t like the way our guilty conscience make us feel – what do we choose to do?  First we hate it…and we hate it still more…and as it says in 37:8, we say to our Conscience, “Would you REIGN over us?  Would you then DOMINATE us?  And we hated it even more!!    Once we realize that our Conscience gets in our way of living the life we want, WE THROW IT INTO THE PIT!!  We do everything we can to bury our conscience, we sell it, we send it as far away as possible and we may even spend 22 years in denial wishing it was dead (the brothers didn’t see Yosef again, until 22 years later).

    Now, perhaps we can also understand why Parsha Yayeishev is always in the month of Kislev.  Just take a look at the Hebrew word:

    כסלו

    If we split the word into two parts, to help us with the translation, we get:

    כס-לו

    We can use some translation liberties to mean that we carry our heart very close to us – IN OUR POCKET. Which is a midda of sensitivity and acceptance – two traits the addict is striving to learn to free him/her from their disease.  On the other hand, we can learn an important message from our story of the brothers’ viewpoint and treatment of Yosef when we spell the month as:

    כעס-לו

    Which by just adding an Ayin –  we get a much more revealing translation of the brothers’ treatment of Yosef, since the Ayin is translated as “Eye” – in this case the AYIN RAH – THE EVIL EYE!  Regrettably, as we discover in our Fourth Step Inventory, we realize how this Character Defect is the cause of so much of our Anger and Fear and ultimately our Acting Out!!

    Let us all use this incredible story and its message to learn to face the TRUTH and to LISTEN TO OUR CONSCIENCE even if we don’t like it!  Let’s learn to look at everyone and every situation with an “Ayin Tov” – a KIND & GENEROUS EYE!  And by doing so we will take ourselves out of the PIT of our disease and see the Light and the Miracles of Kislev!!”

    Shabbat Shalom and Happy Chanukah!

    Please join others and feel free to post your comments in the box below.
    (ps. if you have a personal story or chiddush, you would like to share, I am looking for “guest” contributors to post.)