Duvid Chaim's 2b1 Institute

Month: November 2017

Parsha Vayishlach – By the Way…What’s your NAME?!

Parsha Vayishlach

By the Way…What’s your NAME?!

“Hello, my name is Ploni Almoni, I’m an Escapaholic, and I’ve been sober for ??? time“ (12 Step Meeting Format)

We are are continuing our weekly Series:

Today, we are learning, how Parsha Vayishlach speaks to those who seek Recovery.

As we continue the Story of our Patriarchs and Matriarchs, we learn in this Parsha about one of the most perplexing episodes of the entire Torah. As we all know, we learn in Vayishlach, it’s been 20 years since Yakov ran away from Esav after seemingly stealing his Blessing from their father, Yitzhok. And in this Parsha, after marrying his four wives – having 11 sons and living in the home of Laban, his deceptive father-in-law; Yakov also runs away with his large family, flocks and all his belongings – and crosses the Yabbok River into Eretz Canaan. Yakov learns that Esav is coming to confront him and prepares for war, prepares gifts and prays to G-d. But something mysterious happens. Yakov makes a decision to go back across the River – most commentators say to retrieve a small earthware pitcher. But the Rashbam tells us something very few talk about. He says that Yakov was actually RUNNING AWAY – determined to ESCAPE from the FEAR, the PRESSURE, the DISTRESS he felt by this upcoming encounter with Esav. (Just imagine how you might feel after stealing three valuable items from Esav – his birthright, his blessings…plus his wife Leah – whom he was was supposed to marry!)

ויותר יעקב לבדו

“And Yakov was LEFT ALONE!”

(Bereishis 32:25)

The Rashbam continues to tell us that G-d sent a “man” to keep Yakov from running away. And he “wrestled with him until the break of dawn.” WHO IS THIS “MAN?” Rashi explains that this “man” was the Guardian Angel of Esav. Just as Esav epitomizes evil, so too his angel is the prime spiritual force of evil – Satan himself. Bava Basra 16a explains that Satan descends and seduces man to sin, then incites G-d to punish him to take his life. Thus the battle between Yakov and the “man” was the eternal struggle between good and evil, between man’s capacity to perfect himself and Satan’s determination to destroy him spiritually.

Eventual, Yakov prevails even after being struck in the hip socket. This was not just any wrestling match for Yakov. G-d did not doubt that Yakov would win this battle. Just like ALL of the TESTS that our forefathers faced, it wasn’t for the enjoyment of G-d – it was designed precisely by G-d for the BENEFIT of our forefathers – so they would recognize their own POTENTIAL and ability to overcome TESTS!

“ויאמר אליו מה-שמך”

“He (the man) said to him, What is your NAME?”

After the Man-Angel was defeated by Yakov – in another seemingly senseless act, the Man-Angel asks “What is your NAME?!” After replying “Yakov”, the Man-Angel says “no longer will it be said that your name is Yakov, but YISROEL, for you have striven with the Divine and with man and have overcome!”

Rashi teaches us that the Man-Angel did not have the authority to rename Yakov, nor was his name changed immediately. It was G-d Himself that renamed Yakov 62 versus later on 35:10.

After Yakov experienced the fight with the man/angel, the tense meeting with Esav, the abduction of Dinah in Shechem, the unapproved deception by Shimon and Levi to destroy the city and the death of Rifka – did he encounter G-d. After enduring all these tests – “HE (G-d) blessed Yakov, saying Your NAME is Yakov. Your NAME shall not always be called Yakov, but ISRAEL shall be your NAME!” Thus, Yakov now has TWO NAMES.

Incidentally, Yakov/Yisroel wasn’t the only one experiencing a NAME change – so was G-d! In verse 11, “And G-d said to him, I am El Shaddai”…and blessed him and all of the nations and kings that will come from Yakov! Rashi treats us to a beautifully insightful explanation saying that the name “EL” signifies G-d’s powerful attribute of mercy. And “Shaddai” comes from the word sufficiency or precision. Thus, “The One Who is Precise” determines precisely how much of a blessing one requires or deserves and conversely, how much suffering one can bear without breaking under the strain!

Let’s consider what the Parsha can teach those seeking Sobriety...

OK! There is so much we can learn from all we’ve reviewed.

Firstly, it is not insignificant that we see the sharp and frequent focus on NAMES! From the first days of Creation, the various elements were identified by their NAMES. As soon as Adam was created (and named), the Angels questioned G-d if Adam had enough wisdom to be the first man. G-d responded by having Adam GIVE NAMES to every single creature on earth. How? Because Adam was gifted by G-d to determine a creature’s name by looking into its ESSENCE. I don’t have to remind the reader that even the name of G-d that we use most often is “HaSHEM” – the NAME!

In all these Chapter of Genesis/Bereishis, we witness the giving of the many NAMES to all the characters – from Noach (comfort) thru Avram’s and Sarai’s name change to the names of Yitchak and Yakov/Yisroel, Esav – their wives and the 12 tribes – all of them reflecting their TRUE ESSENCE!!

Finally, the most powerful lesson is the one we learn about Yakov/Yisroel that comes from the Rashbam, who said that he was trying to RUN AWAY – ESCAPE from all his fears and pressures. But rather than allow Yakov to totally flee, G-d has the angel of Esav hold him back – with Yakov’s ultimate victory over Satan himself!

Rabbi YY Jacobson gives us a powerful insight which is truly a message for the addict! We learn that Yakov wasn’t the only Torah hero that RAN AWAY. In addition, we see how Moshe argued with G-d to avoid leading the Jews out of Egypt – he said “Who am I?” Next we see how Yonah became the epitome of Escapaholism by fleeing on a boat and even risking his life, jumping into the ocean. He was afraid that He wasn’t Worthy to deliver the message to the enemy of the Jews – in Ninevah.

In all these cases – Yakov, Moshe and Yonah felt Inept, Incapable, Low Self-Esteem and Low Self-Confidence and did not want to fulfill their G-d given Mission in Life! Just like all of us who are addicts!! And we too, must eventually face our demons and finally recognize that we must:

DEVELOP THE COURAGE TO SAY “YES, I HAVE FEAR, I DON’T KNOW HOW I’LL EVER RECOVERY – BUT I BELIEVE IN MYSELF AND MY HIGHER POWER AND THAT I CAN OVERCOME ALL THE CHALLENGES THAT G-D BRINGS TO ME!!”

And only then can we attend a Twelve Step Meeting and say:

“Hello, MY NEW NAME is Ploni Almoni, I’m a GRATEFULLY RECOVERING Escapaholic, and I’ve been sober for ??? years!”

“To Thine own Self Be True”

Let us all use this message that we inherited from our Ancestors – to reveal the Spiritual DNA we inherited from Yakov/Yisroel to face our fears, and overcome our challenges – mercifully given to us by The ONE who is PRECISE! And then we can merit to be NAMED “B’nai Yisroel!!”

Shabbat Shalom!

Please join others and feel free to post your comments in the box below.

(ps. if you have a personal story or chiddush, you would like to share, I am looking for “guest” contributors to post.)

November 30, 2017
Just imagine if we treated the Torah like our Smart Phone

WHAT IF WE TREATED THE TORAH AS WE TREAT OUR CELL PHONE?

Ever wonder what would happen if we treated the Torah as we treat our cell phone?

What if we carried it around in our purse or pocket every day?

What if we looked through it many times each day?

What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?

What if we always checked it for messages?

What if we treated it as if we couldn’t manage a day without it?

What if we gave it to our children as a special gift?

What if we always took it, and used it, when we traveled?

What if we always thought to use it in case of an emergency?

Oh, and one more thing…… Unlike our cell phone, we don’t have to worry about Torah being disconnected, because it’s “Carrier” NEVER fails!

November 30, 2017
Parsha Vayeitzei – It is good to GIVE THANKS!
Parsha Vayeitzei

It is good to GIVE THANKS!!

“We will suddenly realize that G-d is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves!” (BB pg 84)

We are are continuing our weekly Series:

Today, we are learning, how Parsha Vayeitzei speaks to those who seek Recovery.

הודו להשם כי-טוב כי לעולם חסדו

“Thank Hashem for He is good, for His Kindness lasts forever!” (Psalm 118):

As we continue the Story of our Patriarchs and Matriarchs, we learn in the Parsha about Yakov’s marriage to Rachel and Leah – (which I find interesting since Yakov is a twin who marries twins and also marries their maid-servants who are twins!) We know that from 29:31 through 30:22 – a mere 27 verses that eleven of the twelve tribes are born. (Can you imagine all those diapers and pacifiers?)

Of interest to us is the birth of Leah’s fourth son – even though Rachel still had not delivered a single child! Thru her prophesy, she knew that Yakov would father 12 sons from his 4 wives and assumed that she would have only 3 sons. When Leah delivered a fourth son, she realized that G-d has blessed her beyond measure. And named this son – Yehudah – which the Sforno tells us is the root of the word “thankfulness.” Yehudah also contains all of the letters of G-d’s name “Yud Kei Vav Kei” plus the letter Daled for the number Four!

Fast Forward to Chapter 38, we learn the story of Yehuda, who is now a grown man and considered to be the leader of the Twelve Tribes. In this Chapter, we learn about Tamar – the daughter-in-law of Yehuda. Tamar married Yehuda’s first son the “evil” Er who deserved G-d’s death penalty. Jewish law then required Tamar to marry the second son, Onan who also died. And now that Tamar was required to marry his third son, Yehuda decided to delay that marriage.

Many days passed and the famous story continues as Tamar disguises herself as a Prostitute – which Yehuda hires for relations. More about this below.

Let’s consider what the Parsha can teach those seeking Sobriety...

Now let’s take a deeper look into the meaning of the story of Yehuda and how it applies to those seeking Recovery and Sobriety.

As we learned above, beginning with the birth of Yehuda and all throughout his life – we witness how powerful the Hebrew word Yehuda is. Just within these episodes of his life we learn :

מודה = תודה = יהודה

In the episode of Yehuda and Tamar (and I am taking the literary liberty, please don’t criticize me) to point out a few messages from this story as follows:
- After the death of Er, Tamar’s first husband, by law she was then married to Onan. And what was the great sin of Onan that caused his death? His aveira of “Zeira Lavatalah – Spilling of Seed!” Hmmm.
- And what attracted Yehuda to have relations with Tamar? She was a Prostitute! Hmmm.
Of course, we can’t read this story and claim that we have permission to masterbate and go to prostitutes. For we know that this episode was part of the Divine Plan to build the seed of Moshiach. None of this would have been part of the Plan had it not been for the TEST that Yehuda passed! As we learn in the rest of this episode, Yehuda ultimately takes the STEP that earns him the right to be the forefather of Jewish monarchy. What was that critical Step?

It is also found in Yehuda’s name – that Step being “Modeh” to ADMIT! Yes, in one of the Torah’s most compelling displays of “Humility, Fearlessness & Honesty” (BB pg 73), Yehuda in front of all the people admits “She is right, I am the father of the child!” And today, in our struggle to be clean and sober – we too must take that big bold Step. That Step that says:

Finally, let’s look at one more important detail about the name of Yehuda…the Chiddushei HaRim notes that Jews have come to be called “Yehudim,” after Yehuda because it is Jewish Character Attribute to always BE GRATEFUL to G-d, with the ATTITUDE that He has given us more that our rightful share! For those of us who have gone thru the 4th (remember the letter ד ) Step Inventory, we come to face our Character Defects which center around our Selfishness. In our “Turnaround,” we practice Gratitude.

Let us all use this message that we inherited from our Ancestors – to reveal the Spiritual DNA we inherited from Yehuda to make our own ADMISSION. Perhaps we can now understand why Chazal wrote the prayer that upon awakening every morning we begin our day by saying “MODEH ANI!!”

And thanks to this Parsha message, let’s all exercise our “Attitude of Gratitude.” Isn’t it time, my friends that we use our past as a springboard to a future of Humility, Fearlessness and Honesty!

Shabbat Shalom!

Please join others and feel free to post your comments in the box below.

(ps. if you have a personal story or chiddush, you would like to share, I am looking for “guest” contributors to post.)
November 24, 2017
Parsha Toldos – Eat, Drink & Be Merry!!

Parsha Toldos

Eat, Drink & Be Merry!!

“If there is a G-d, He certainly hasn’t done anything for me!” (BB pg 56)

We are are continuing our weekly Series:

Today, we are learning, how Parsha Toldos speaks to those who seek Recovery.

“For tomorrow we will die!” (Isaiah 22:13)

והנה אנכי הולך למות ולמה זה לי בכרה

“And Esau said, Look I am going to die, so of what use to me is a birthright?”

What was the mindset of Esau that he could have so easily sold his birthright for just a pot of lentils? After all, Esau was the firstborn son of Isaac and the grandson of Avraham – he knew he was next in line to inherit this great Spiritual Legacy! Rashi comments that basically Esau had given up, he had lost any sense of self worth – he knew that he had done so many sins and neglected to observe his service to Hashem that he concluded that his actions were punishable by death.

This isn’t the only place in Tanach that this mindset is expressed. In Isaiah Chapter 22 – the Prophet was speaking to the people of Jerusalem criticizing the way they had turned away from G-d, and the downfall of the Holy City was underway. Hashem had declared that the people should cry and lament their impending doom. Instead, they partied without any restraint like New Years Eve and declared, “Eat and drink, for tomorrow we die!”

We see further in the Tanach, in Kohelet-Ecclesiastes Chapter 8 during the reign of Shlomo HaMelech-King Solomon – at the time in his life where after accumulating great wealth, tasting every delight on the planet and enjoying many many wives he famously declares:

“So I praised enjoyment, for man has no other goal under the sun but to EAT, DRINK and BE MERRY!”

How many of us live our lives as if this is one of the 613 Mitzvahs/Commandments?! And we do this with such enthusiasm and celebration! We find no limits in our ability to taste and experience every single sensual pleasure – as if this is the last day of our life! Don’t worry, we conclude that since we are dressed sniusly/modestly in designer apparel, our wives are wearing their Chevy Wigs, we are eating at the finest Kosher Restaurants or flying first class on El Al or on the Top Deck of a Kosherica Cruise, we are entitled to eat, drink and be merry!!

Let’s consider what the Parsha can teach the addict...

Just take a personal and honest moment to think about our past or current actions. Perhaps how far we may have fallen into the depths of our addictive and lustful behaviors – whether it’s food, drink, sex, internet, smartphones, shopping etc. We may be just like Esau, as Rashi explains who had simply and thoroughly given up any sense of self worth or hope that we can change – that we can Recover!

But there is a big difference between us and Esau!! For you, me and all of the Jewish People, no matter where we are holding with our Recovery and Sobriety – are SONS AND DAUGHTERS OF YAKOV! That we have a Spiritual DNA in each of us that knows that there is a World even beyond this awesome one – that there is always hope – that no matter how many sins we may have made or how far removed we are – that there is a Higher Power that is always waiting for us to “turn our will and our lives over to Him!”

As we read in Chapter 4 – We Agnostics (BB pg 55)

“Actually we were fooling ourselves, for deep down in every man, woman and child is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp and worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. ”

Let us all use this message that we inherited from our Ancestors – to also learn from our past “mistakes” – and to not let ourselves be imprisoned by them! Yes, we may be in the mindset of “What’s the Point of even trying.” But NOW is our opportunity to use our past as a springboard to a future of Humility, Fearlessness and Honesty!

Shabbat Shalom!

Please join others and feel free to post your comments in the box below.

(ps. if you have a personal story or chiddush, you would like to share, I am looking for “guest” contributors to post.)

November 17, 2017
Parasha Chaya Sarah – You have to see the Lies to appreciate the Truth!!

Parsha Chaya Sarah –

You have to see the Lies to appreciate the Truth!!

“But they had not learned enough of Humility, Fearlessness and Honesty in the sense we find it necessary!” (BB pg 73)

We are are continuing our weekly Series:

Today, we are learning, how Parsha Chaya Sarah speaks to those who seek Recovery.

Remember where you came from!

“Yichus” – For those of us with sons and daughters ready to be married off, don’t we as parents want their so called B’sheret to have the best Yichus possible?! We get calls from Shadchanim – we look at the prospective Chasan or Kallah – we investigate them more thoroughly than the FBI – we make calls to their neighbors, to their Yeshivas or Seminaries. G-d forbid they should have “questionable pasts.”

But if you really looked far enough back into the past of every Jew, men or women, you’ll see a pretty sketchy background! I’m talking about seven out of nine of our Patriarchs and Matriarchs! That’s right. Just look at the upbringing and backgrounds of Avraham, Sarah, Rifka, Rachel, Leah, Bila and Zilpa.

There is a very profound message here—and it is at the heart of Judaism. Abraham and Sarah and the rest of their relatives who later became our ancestors were not born in an environment of Torah. To the contrary, they were born and raised in ancient Ur, a city in Southern Iraq, dominated by idolatry and the cult of kings as demigods, in which the gods were perceived as blood thirsty jealous titans. Now, G-d—the real G-d—did not expect Abraham and Sarah to turn their lives upside down in a single day!

Just as it with any scientific discovery or theory, it does not come with a snap of the finger. The scientist spends months or years in research, in speculations, doubt, uncertainty, until he or she may discover the truth. Is all that research time not considered part of scientific progress and discovery? Is it seen as a futile waste of time? Of course not! It is the only way to reach any type of truth. This, exactly, was the journey of Abraham and Sarah.

In the words of Maimonides in Mishnah Torah, Laws of Avodah Zarah 1:3, regarding Avraham Avinu: “He began to explore and think. Though he was a child, he began to think incessantly throughout the day and night, wondering: How is it possible for our planet earth to continue to revolve without having anyone controlling it? He had no teacher, nor was there anyone to inform him. Rather, he was mired in Ur Kasdim among the foolish idolaters. His father, mother, and all the people around him were idol worshipers, and he would worship with them. However, his heart was exploring and gaining understanding.”

“Ultimately, he appreciated the way of truth and understood the path of righteousness through his accurate comprehension. He realized that there was one God who controlled the planets, that He created everything, and that there is no other God among all the other entities. He knew that the entire world was making a mistake… Abraham was forty years old when he became aware of his Creator. When he recognized and knew Him, he began to formulate replies to the inhabitants of Ur Kasdim and debate with them, telling them that they were not following a proper path.”

This is why the Torah tells us that Abraham and Sarah “came with all of their days.” From G-d’s perspective, all of their days were perfectly wholesome. Of course, many of these years included theological blunders and false pagan beliefs. But that was part of their search for truth. The road to perfection must lead through imperfection. They were not indulged in idolatry because they were careless and gluttonous; they were actually seeking the truth and in our complex world you often embrace the wrong before you discover the right. For Abraham and Sarah, their path to G-d had to lead through other paths, because without that they could have never discovered the One G-d!

Let’s consider what the Parsha can teach the addict...

Just think about every single addict you know who has found Recovery. What we all have in common is a PAST that is blemished with some serious mistakes and falls. I don’t think that any of us would admit on our Shidduch Resumes the Powerlessness we have over our addictions.

And yet, somehow we rise above the ugly past and rock bottoms – and as we all can declare “a Power greater than ourselves has restored us to sanity” and we turn to Him to remove all our defects of character and shortcomings.”

Our Amidah that we recite three times a day repeatedly reminds us the Love and Support of our Higher Power. And no matter how low we have fallen, no matter how deep we are in our disease and no matter how trapped we feel in our addiction, the Amidah reveals to us that G-d is THE:

םומך נופלים – Supporter of the Fallen,

ורופא חולים – and Healer of the Sick,

ומתיר אסורים – Releaser of the Imprisoned!

As we read in Chapter 5 – How it Works (BB pg 58)

“Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being HONEST with themselves!”

Let us all use this message that we inherited from our Ancestors – to also learn from our past “mistakes” – and to not let ourselves be imprisoned by them! Yes, we are pained by our guilt and shame. But it is our opportunity to use our past as a springboard to a future of Humility, Fearlessness and Honesty!

Shabbat Shalom!

Please join others and feel free to post your comments in the box below.

(ps. if you have a personal story or chiddush, you would like to share, I am looking for “guest” contributors to post.)

November 10, 2017
Parsha Vayeira – Don’t make me LAUGH!!

Parsha Vayeira –

Don’t make me LAUGH!!

“I was to TEST my thinking by the new God-Consciousness within. Common sense would thus become uncommon sense!” (BB pg 13)

We are are continuing our weekly Series:

Today, we are learning, how Parsha Vayeira speaks to those who seek Recovery.

Avraham – the First Man to LAUGH in the Torah!

ויפל אברהם על פניו – ויצחק

“And Avraham threw himself upon his face – and laughed (Lech Lecha 17:17)

ותצחק שרה בקרבה

“And Sarah laughed at herself (Vayeira 18:12)

It just doesn’t make sense – it must have been a “MIRACLE!”

How is it possible that a 100 year old man and a 90 year old woman could have a baby? It doesn’t matter if it happened to Avraham and Sarah in the Hebrew Year 2048 or if it was today in the Solar Year 2017, this was beyond anyone’s wildest dream – IT WAS BEYOND TEVA (Nature)!

On April 19, 2016 – Daljinder Kaur, a woman in India who’s 72 years old, gave birth to a son – and is considered by all sources to be the oldest woman to ever give birth!! The baby was the first for Kaur and her 79-year-old husband, Mohinder Singh Gill, after nearly five decades of marriage.

The word “teva” טבע – means “nature.” It is widely accepted and understood that the World operates according to the “Laws of Nature.” What goes up must come down…water boils at 212 degrees fahrenheit…the Earth takes 365 and 1/4 days to revolve around the sun…apple trees can only grow from apple seeds…and human birth only occurs when a man’s seed combines with a woman’s egg. Scientists can explain almost every physical detail in the universe. Even emotions and spirituality can be explained by neuroscience.

Yet, in spite of all of these claims, we still find events that go above nature – we call them “miracles.”

Let’s consider what the Parsha can teach the addict...

Without question, for Avraham and Sarah at such an advanced age to give birth to Yitzchak (laughter in Hebrew) was way above nature – Teva. So lets’s consider the word Teva and how it relates to the addict. The Hebrew word Teva has other meanings – “imprint,” “coin,” and “signet ring.” The common thread to all of these various meanings is the constant, unchangeable and permanent nature of the item described as it’s nature. So too the addict! No matter how hard they try, “with a firm resolution not to act out again” (see the Doctor’s Opinion pg xxix), they cannot stop on their own! Not only can they not stop on their own, but nobody else – spouse or other loved ones included – or the risk of dire consequence can get the addict to stop acting out. Step One says it best by describing the Powerlessness of the addict. It is constant, unchangeable and permanent – it is their nature – it is their Teva!!

Yet, we all know many men and women who are sober today and have recovered from their addiction. We can say that these addicts have risen above their nature, to a level that we call a miracle!

So is it possible that Avraham and Sarah have something in common with the addict – the answer is a resounding YES! If you look carefully at the events leading up to their renewed vigor and ability to give birth, this rise above nature, this miracle occurs right after G-d changes the name of Avram to Avraham and Sarai to Sarah – in which G-d added the letter hey to Avraham’s and Sarah’s name!!

Lastly, please note that the word Teva has the Gematria of 81. And the letter hey has the Gematria of 5. And when you add the letter Hey to Teva – HaTeva, the Gematria is 86 – which is the same Gematria of Elokim!! (Elokim is the attribute of G-d represented by Gevurah – Strength)

Which teaches us that it is only God-our Higher Power (Strength) that can transform THE NATURE-הטבע of an addict!!

As we read in the Doctor’s Opinion pg xxix:

“On the other hand – and strange as this may seem to those who do not understand-once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for lust, the only effort necessary being that he is required to follow a few simple rules!”

Shabbat Shalom!

Please join others and feel free to post your comments in the box below.

(ps. if you have a personal story or chiddush, you would like to share, I am looking for “guest” contributors to post.)

November 3, 2017