I wanted to share with you that today I am 50 days clean, something that I never thought possible. And it is no coincidence that I started coaching with you, 50 days ago. So thank you very much for all your support. Slowly but surely, I am changing my way of thinking and looking at Hashem. And to be honest, I feel the urges less and less each day!!
Making the commitment to invest in Duvid Chaim’s workshop was an important step forward for me that has helped to set me on a new path of hope. Through the workshop and my relationship with Duvid Chaim, I began to understand my problem in a more realistic way, and I became more devoted to taking serious steps to get the help that I need. Duvid Chaim’s experience and compassion allowed me to begin thinking, feeling and acting in better ways through my ups and downs, and gave me new ways to reach out for help when I was struggling. Though I am not yet where I ultimately hope to be, I am thankful for the progress that I have made so far.
As i am writing this, I completed the 90 day journey. To be honest, before starting out with Duvid Chaim, i really thought that this was going to be another one of all the failed attempts at recovery. But Duvid Chaim definitely proved me wrong. With all the tools that Duvid Chaim gave me, I am confident that I am able to overcome any obstacle. Simply put : AMAZING!!
First, thank you. Second, thank you. And of course, third… and onward.
And as you said, the program is not about lust. As a byproduct of getting rid of resentments and fears, lust disappears. I am certainly not cured, but I can sense that the promises of the program are coming true. I have a new sense of awareness of the immediacy of life around me, the beauty of connecting to people and Hashem’s world in a real and new sense, a sense of calm and serenity that I have not experienced before. A new level of patience and connection with my wife and kids, understanding and tolerance, that allows me to be happy even in the face of turmoil.
Don’t get me wrong — I am not always “holding” there, but from where I was before to now is truly incredible.
Re: the lusting, first let me say that despite my 12 year “sobriety” I could never figure out how to stop the onslaught of illicit thoughts that would rush in to my brain as I closed my eyes on my pillow at night; my “pacifier” to put me to sleep. Somehow those thoughts have all but diminished, for the first time ever, which is a complete miracle. And when they do try to infiltrate, I have so far been successful for the most part (not always, and yes, I daven that the miracle should continue) to allow them to go “in one ear and… out the other.”
I attribute this solely to siyata d’Shamaya, perhaps because of my hishtadlus in joining the program, perhaps because G-d knows that I am trying to get closer to Him sincerely, perhaps for some other reason that I am probably not aware of. Also, my craving to see improper things on Blackberry has diminished greatly, and, bli ayn hara, I daven that it should not return. Also, when I avert my eyes from things I should not see, it is not as painful as it used to be; in fact I get an inner simcha when I am successful to be able to focus away from what I remind myself is counterfeit joy and turn my attention to true joy.
I am taking new joy in my wife, no longer focused on my resentfulness of her overweight, and am learning to love her deeply and truly. What could be better? Not a religious life – a SPIRITUAL life. Simple, obvious, yet only finally beginning to be completely accessible now.
R’ Duvid Chaim, your name bespeaks your purpose: you give CHAIM through your loving, blunt, caring presentation of the program to withered souls who crave the reviving waters of true simcha and chesed. I am making it my purpose and my mission to become a person who “gets out of my head” and starts living for others and for Hashem.
May He give you, the Chevra, me and all of Klal Yisroel the continued siyata shemaya to gain a true refuah and connect truly to Him alone. Thank you – todah – I am modeh to you from the bottom of my heart.